Mending the Broken
by depress0gay
Summary: "Fighting this war is all I knew, and now that it's over...I don't know what I want to do." Dealing with the aftermath of a war is not easy. Dealing with the scars torture leaves is even harder. Hermione is struggling to find herself and is suffering due to her lost childhood, but she isn't alone.


Hermione watched as everyone rejoiced at the end of the war. The Final Battle ended a week ago and the reparations had begun. There had been losses on both sides. The Light side lost Lavender, Colin Creevey, and many others. One of the biggest losses was Remus and Tonks, leaving poor Teddy an orphan, but she was relieved that Harry and Ginny had immediately taken custody of the baby. By a miracle, the entire Weasley family had survived. It had been a close-call with Fred, but Percy managed to pull him away just before the wall came crashing down.

She watched as the Weasleys, Harry, and many other friends as they happily mingled in the Weasley family's backyard. She knew she should be happy but she couldn't. She just felt numb. People always talked about how great it is to win a war, but no one ever tells you how you end up losing yourself when you fight in one. No one tells you how to put yourself back together after you've been broken. No one tells you that torture is something that can happen to you. They don't tell you how to deal with the scars it results in, how much it hurts, how you can never forget, how you keep reliving it over and over again.

Hermione needed to get out of there. There were too many people, too much noise. She briskly walked away from the party and into a secluded area behind a giant tree. She was struggling to breathe. She wasn't in the Weasley's backyard anymore, she was in Malfoy Manor again. She could feel and hear the madwoman as she tortured her. She could feel the pain course through her veins at every Crucio. She could feel the knife carving into her flesh. It was too much at once. Too many feelings, too many thoughts. She couldn't speak. She couldn't make a sound at all. Her legs gave out and she fell onto the grass

All of a sudden, she felt a pair of hands on her. That was what broke her dam. Hermione started sobbing, pushing the hands away from her. Incoherent words tumbled from her mouth as she scrambled away from the person, curling into herself in an effort to protect herself. She sobbed into her knees.

"Hermione. Can you hear me?", she heard an oh so familiar voice. A voice that was good, safe. She stilled. Tears were still streaming down her face, but she gave a weak nod.

"Okay, good. Can you talk?"

She shook her head.

"That's fine. Do you know where you are?"

She shook her head slightly. She wasn't sure anymore.

"You are in the backyard of the Weasleys. You are behind the big oak tree. You are safe."

She carefully looked up.

"Good. Look! Over there, are the lights from the party. And there is the little pond."

She slowly looked around at everything that the voice was pointing at. She was regaining her sense of reality. She looked back towards the voice.

"Harry?"

"Yeah.", Harry smiled. "Welcome back. You alright now?"

"I-I think so? I'm not really...certain what exactly happened.", she replied, her voice hoarse from the crying. "It's-It felt like one minute I was at the party and the next I was back in Malfoy Manor."

"'Mione….I'm so sorry.", Harry said glumly.

"Don't. Honestly, Harry. Don't go there. It isn't your fault. I'd go through that all over again if it meant keeping you safe. Furthermore, it is Bellatrix Lestrange that is to blame. You weren't the one who cast countless Cruciatus curses on me, were you? I don't blame you, so don't blame yourself.", Hermione declared, her voice surprisingly strong considering what had just happened.

Harry just smiled weakly and nodded. Nothing more was said after that, nothing needed to be. He helped her up and Hermione went to the pond to splash water on her face. She straightened out her clothes and cleaned herself up. After a couple of minutes, you couldn't tell that she had just had a breakdown unless you looked closely. It wasn't until they reached the mass of people that Hermione broke the silence.

"Harry, I-", she hesitated. "I want to go to Australia."

"Wh-", Harry started.

"I need to find my parents. I need them, I miss them so much. Also, I need to do that trip alone. I've been with you guys nearly my whole life. Fighting this war is all I knew, and now that it's over...I don't know what I want to do. I wasn't sure that I'd even survive but now that I'm still here, I need to find myself. I'll really miss you guys! I'll write and keep all of you guys updated, I promise. Please don't think I'm going to abandon you all!"

"Hermione!", he interrupted her rambling. "I get it. I do. You don't have to explain yourself to me. Just promise me that you'll stay in touch and you'll stay safe. There are still quite a lot of Death Eaters that haven't been caught."

Hermione nodded and beamed.

"I promise."


End file.
